Can’t Say I Was Expecting This

Here’s a random little piece of news that may have slipped by many people: apparently, Vince Shlomi, the guy on TV who manically (though he’s not quite reached Billy Mayes levels) pitches to viewers the ShamWow and Slap Chop has apparently been arrested for battery, according to the The Smoking Gun. It’s so ridiculous I’ll just let the story speak for itself.

“Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue… After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops… Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center.”

If you scroll down on The Smoking Gun, there’s a nice mugshot of Shlomi. Doesn’t look that bad. A hospital visit? Psssh. A good ol’ Mini ShamWow for the bleeding and some butterfly stitches looks like it would’ve been adequate. I’m sure he carries an extra around with him just for occasions like these.

On a side note: a friend of mine actually has a ShamWow that she received for Christmas. I had the privilege to use the magical item. My report? It sure seems to work pretty well. But I only used it briefly. I must further investigate the mystical object.

“YOU’LL BE SAYING WOW EVERY TIME YOU USE THIS TOWEL!”
-Vince Shlomi, pitching the ShamWow on TV